Scream

If you all will notice, the word of the week is “scream”. 

Simple, right? But so hard to do. 

Its hard because there is so much emotion in a scream.  Not many brothers do. We have to keep it cool. People scream when they are excited; We still cool. People scream when they are angry. We really don’t have the privilege to do so. Call it our cool pose, our protection from the world, our coping mechanism. That's what we don't do. We don't scream because our silence is frightening to ours. Hell, even our presence in an elevator is as some claim scary.

Now, I want to scream.

Last week, I finally made it to movies and I think the devil was at play here. One night my wallet played hide and seek under a loaf of bread. Then I missed the early show today because I remembered I needed to write a letter for someone  (devil got my mind too). But I finally bought my ticket to see Fruitvale Station. Why the hell would I do a thing like that?

I’m already not in a good place this year. I feel like the brothers need a win and its just not coming. Trayvon’s inglorious death was cemented with a verdict a few weeks ago, still no change in the investigation (if there ever was one) for frat. We still have stop and frisk policies and the nation’s top two brothers had to tell the country about it’s self. And Don Lemon: you can have a seat in the weekend Ghetto at Fox News, cause I pretty sure that’s where you will be in the next year.

But I went to the movie to see the story that I missed. It amazes me how regional things still are. Clearly  Oscar and Sean near coverage on the south from the corners of the US, so I have heard the basics of the death of Oscar Grant. We all know what happened in Florida and its continued protest. This southern place is often placated by the allure of South Beach and Disney. 

This movie is something I had to go see. What was his life like? What would his final day in this world tell us?

It told me that a hoodie is worn to keep warm a friendly smile. It showed a person use a few minutes of his life to change a stranger to a friend and with grandma’s help, buy the right fish.  It showed that he was determined to tell his daughter he loved her everyday himself. He was still making his turn and the life that was his was taken so quickly, with no thought, and no responsibility. That sounds like the same old song.

All he needed was one more day. If he had one more day, like Sean Bell, his life would have changed, again.  But how many times is that the case? Just one more day, and the distance from your past seems to double, but you get robbed? Brothers are getting robbed and it seems too easy to get off for murder than this grand larceny.

But I knew what was going to happen at the end. Yet, for some reason, I had hope. And maybe that hope wasn't for Oscar, but for the brother who needs just one more day.  I hope he got it. It’s not important whether I know him or not. But so many times we others lose their day, their turning point, and we forget that we had them. And we all need them, and we can help someone through theirs. But when they get robbed of it, we need to call foul.  We need to Scream.

In the business of keeping it cool like brothers do, I left quietly, tears and all under my shades. I drove around. I went home. I hit the gym. I wrote this blog. But I have not screamed.